Questions, questions, questions.

February 29^th. 2020

No, no blowing of trumpets, simply that I was nominated by my Chindi colleague, Helen Christmas, to participate in a summer blog event. It meant spending a little more time on social media than I really wanted, so I’ve taken a shortcut and answered the questions that Helen answered. She did set me new ones, but I’d answered those I saw first and couldn’t be bothered to go through them all again. So, here are the questions that Helen had, followed by my answers. The weekly blog follows the Q&As.

When you were little, what did you dream about becoming when you grew up?

I wanted to be a Trolley Bus conductor so I could slide the poles out from beneath the bus and lift them to change the pick-up arms on to another set of overhead wires. See? No ambition!

What is something you like to do the old-fashioned way?

Write with a fountain pen.

What is one of your favourite smells?

Fresh cut grass.

If you could call anyone in the world and have a one-hour conversation, who would you call?

There is no-one outside of my family that fits that criteria, but if it was for someone long dead I would have to choose two people (I know — it said one). Jesus would be my first, which shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows I am a Born-again Christian. The other is my mother who died a few years before I had my first book published. She was an ardent reader and was never to know how proud I would have made her.

What job would you be terrible at?

Anything a woman does around the house.

If you had a million pounds/dollars, what would you do with them to help the most people?

Because it’s not enough to buy an ailing football club, I would try to do my best for local charities, and also my church here in Aldwick.

For one day, you can do whatever you want. What would you do?

Emulate my son, Terry, and fly a fast jet.

Give me three words to describe yourself.

Optimist. Talkative. Supportive.

What is your favourite food treat?

Mince, mash, vegetables and gravy. (I know it’s boring, but I’m a simple man with simple needs.)

What is your favourite outfit?

I like to dress in spivvy clothes but have long given that up. I used to like wearing a dark shirt, leather jacket and slim trousers.

 You have one last wish… go for it!

A complete cure for cancer.

My apologies to Helen for not following the rules. You can find Helen’s excellent blog at https://samefacedifferentplace.wordpress.com/2020/02/26/.

So, how as the week gone for me and Pat? She had chemo last Monday, which doesn’t seem to have affected her too much. We understand there is usually a downside, but we’re not complaining. We were called in by the hospital to have a blood test because Pat’s had been done more than 48 hours before. That meant a quick dash into St. Richards, home again, walk the dog, grab a bite and get back for her one o’clock appointment. They have changed the chemo schedule too: it means we’re in again next Monday, and then not for three weeks. We have also been given all Pat’s appointments up to the end of April.

I submitted my book, The Boy from Berlin, (www.amazon.co.uk/B079SSJP9V) to BookBub for a featured deal at the beginning of the week. They accepted it but not for the USA. I was given the opportunity to promote it in Canada, Australia, India and the UK. They didn’t give a reason for the ban on USA, but I suspect it’s because the story is about the race for the Whitehouse, and the main protagonist is a right wing, white racist supremacist, and also the chief suspect for the murder of a State senator. The police office leading the investigation is Lieutenant Amos, a black cop! I guess BookBub considered it a bit delicate and maybe have an influence on the presidential election coming up this year? (He says with tongue firmly in cheek). So, Donald Trump can sleep safely in his bed and dream of another four-year term.

I finished reading The Auction Murders by Roger Silverwood; his third in the DCI Angel series. I think I have a problem with police procedurals because there seems to be the need for the main character to have a problem, whether domestic, emotional, or physical, and this requires a lot of wandering off plot to fill the reader with narrative that, for me, doesn’t drive the plot forward. It isn’t just this book too; I’m finding the same with the one I’ve just started, but more about that when I finish it (if I do).

I’ve heard nothing from Joffe Books about the progress with Past Imperfect.  I don’t really expect to for a while; it’s just me getting itchy feet and wanting to see it finished and ready to go.

I received an email from one of my new subscribers who had signed up for a free copy of Hell’s Gate. The message was clear: “Stop sending me emails.” I guessed she meant to unsubscribe, which I did for her, and sent her a reply to say I’d done this. I received an email the following day from her asking me if my book was available in paperback! Hmmm! I wonder if she’s bought one. I live in hope. Wish me luck.

Every cloud has a silver lining

22 February 2020

Well, the excitement level went up in the Parker household this week, but it was all about my book world. More of that later. Last Monday Pat saw the specialist who said that her blood test showed that things were normal. This meant she could continue chemo, which would be next Monday. We were a little disappointed to think she had to wait a week, but the prescription for the chemo is made up at Worthing hospital, and takes about three days. She’s been a bit flat this week, but I can’t expect her to be jumping through hoops every day; living with cancer can be soul destroying.

Now, the excitement level. Readers of my blog will know I’ve just had the jacket of my romance, Past Imperfect, redesigned. I then began a tentative promotion campaign on Amazon, but so far that has only produced two sales. I was on the point of signing up for a different type of promotion with the company who did the jacket when I received an email, out of the blue, from Joffe Books (rhymes with coffee) wanting to ‘relaunch’ Past Imperfect. I can promise you that it had nothing to do with the redesigning of the jacket. Joffe Books bought all Robert Hale rights about a year ago from Crowood Press. I had two titles left over from Hale that belonged to Crowood but managed to get the rights back over a year ago; this meant I had no connection with any traditional publisher. Somehow, Joffe Books picked up on Past Imperfect and that’s why they got in touch with me.

So who are Joffe Books? They publish indie writers; mainly crime but do have an interest in other genres. They are one of the most successful indie publishers on Amazon, having sold 1.4 million books in 2017 and in 2018 held seventeen of the top 100 titles there. When they take on a writer, they do the lot: editing, proof reading, formatting, jacket design, and promotion. It costs the writer nothing. There’s no advance, and royalties are paid quarterly.

I first came across Jasper Joffe on a Mark Dawson podcast a couple of years ago, so I have a good understanding of how he works. I did submit a manuscript to him but heard nothing back. He usually takes on about one in a hundred submissions, so to be ‘picked up’ in this way is something of a game changer for me. I now have to wait for things to happen. They have everything they need from me, so hopefully I won’t have to wait too long before I see things moving.

The email from them took me back to the seventies when I received a letter from my agent to say that Macmillan had made an offer to publish my first book. I remember standing outside the chicken sheds where I’d been doing some electrical work for the chicken farmer, when Pat turned up in the car, our four boys with her, clutching the letter. We ended up dancing round the yard, me in my overalls and wellie boots, Pat clinging on for dear life and the chicken farmer wondering what the hell was going on. No, I didn’t do any of that when Joffe Books got in touch, but metaphorically I came pretty close. What now? I’ve just got to settle down, keep calm and hope I can look forward to a renewed career. Wish me luck!

Putting in the hard yards

15^th. February 2020

It’s been quite a week, one way or another. Pat managed to get through the middle section of her chemo where she has tummy jabs over five days. It’s always a nervy time because of past experiences, both with Pat’s chemo last year and mine in Spain. But we’re through that and looking ahead now to her consultation prior to the next session of chemo on Monday. Hopefully we’ll hear positive news and she will be allowed to continue with the treatment.

On the book front, I’ve just finished collaborating with ‘ebookorprint.com’ for the new jacket to my romance Past Imperfect. It took an exchange of 33 emails, start to finish, before the final version was agreed. You can make your own minds up about it, but I really like it. I have the new copy to hand and have ordered a few more. I’m expecting to use this company again for another jacket change later in the year. I am also contemplating a promotion campaign with them but have to dot some eyes and cross some tees before signing up. It isn’t about Amazon or Facebook ads, but something entirely different. If I go ahead, you’ll get to know all about it, whether I fail or not.

I’ve been organising a family get-together for when our youngest son Stephen and his wife come over from Australia. It will be their first visit for fifteen years. I’ve booked a local hotel for a lunchtime bash in April. There should be 21 of us all told. There will be four Vegans, five vegetarians and the rest of us meat eaters. Ever tried organising something where there are different dietary requirements? It’s a nightmare.

My current reading is a crime thriller by J.D. Kirk called The Killing Code. I saw this author on an SPF podcast. He was a ghost writer for Random House, writing comics, Sci-Fi etc. Been doing it for years and making a living out of it. Now he’s writing for himself and making a better living out of it.

Last Wednesday I watched a webinar by Stuart Grant. It was about Instagram. I managed an hour before going to bed, but will be catching up later on the video that’s has been made available to the SPF Patreon group. From all accounts, using Instagram properly is the way to success. Aren’t they all though? I will try to follow Stuart’s excellent advice though; he seems to make it work.

I have managed to get some work done on my pulp fiction thriller. The word count is up to 12000 plus. It’s still a struggle though. And of course, almost all my screen time is now on the laptop in the front room so I can be with Pat. At the moment she’s watching a film on Amazon. It’s called The Fisherman’s Friend. I watched it a couple of weeks ago. Lovely film based on a true story.

So that’s where I am now: making plans and trying to sell books, but there’s precious little of that happening. Maybe my tie up with ‘ebookorprint’ might yield something. Wish me luck!

I'm back again. Didn't think it would happen.

February 8^th. 2020

Well, I didn’t think I would be back this soon, but I’ve done a kind of ‘workaround’ to satisfy my own concerns with leaving Pat on her own. Followers of my blog will know Pat has been battling with cancer for almost fifteen months now, and to maintain my blog and my writing, it meant spending time in my room while Pat was on her own in the front room. It bothered me and seemed so unfair to her, which is why I called a halt. But now I am able to use my laptop, having transferred what I need, and I can be in the room with Pat while I write the blog. Hopefully I’ll be able to pick up my writing again. The desire never left me, but the inclination did. So, where are we with health and creativity issues?

Pat has begun chemo again and has now had her second dose. It’s different to the chemo that nearly killed her last year; this is a fortnightly session which will go on for four months. It seems to be more forgiving, but it is chemo, nonetheless. She did well with the first session, safely navigating the two weeks without any major dramas. I still have to give her tummy jabs in the middle section of the two weeks: this is to help her immune system, and it’s at this point in the chemo where she is at her most vulnerable to infection etc.

On the book front, I have written virtually nothing; just dribs and drabs. I tested out my ‘new’ way of writing — sitting in the front room with Pat, but it took some getting used to, and there were always distractions, but I need this kind of diversion to help cope with looking after Pat. As most writers understand; writing is a lonely occupation and needs to be done somewhere ‘safe’. A garret in an old town, maybe. But seriously, we all occupy that metaphorical garret when and wherever we sit down to write.

I’ve spent some money on advertising; not a lot, simply because I still have to understand the finer points of Amazon ads and how to drill down into the minutiae and sell books. I made one dreadful mistake a month ago. I started a campaign for one of my books and instead of bidding $0.30 (30 cents), I bid $30! I forgot to check where the decimal point was. Consequently, I received an email from Amazon to say my budget had been exceeded — I’d spent $150 in less than 24 hours! I won’t make that mistake again (hopefully).

I am in the process of having a new jacket designed for my romance Past Imperfect. Once I have it, I’ll promote it on AMS. The reason for the jacket change is simple: the old one just didn’t work. I sold three copies in twelve months because it has no appeal.

That’s about it for now. Oh, I stopped writing this an hour ago and took Pat out for a walk in her wheelchair. The sun was shining, no wind, and a lovely time to get her out. She loved it. Hopefully I’ll post a blog each week, but in my current situation, nothing is written in stone. Just keep an eye open and wish me luck!