Getting my ducks in a row.

21st. March 2020

This was the week I celebrated my 79^th. birthday. Once upon a time I was allowed to ‘celebrate’, now I’m afraid it’s ‘celebate’. C’est la vie! Pat has had a reasonable week, and I even managed to take her out for a ride in the car. Went down to Selsey and was out for about an hour. Didn’t get out of the car of course, but it gave Pat a chance to get some relief rather than going stir-crazy at home.

In accordance with the rules in place, Pat had a phone appointment with the haematologist confirming she was OK for her next chemo session on Monday. Obviously we can’t avoid it, but no-one wants to go to a hospital while we’re all worrying and wondering about the virus warnings. Yesterday afternoon I had to go to our surgery for Pat so I could pick up a prescription from the nurse. One of Pat’s recurring problems again, which meant I had to phone up (took ages to get through) and ask their advice. The nurse was able to make out a prescription, but it had to be electronically handled, which meant a doctor adding their pin before it could go to the chemist. Half an hour later I’m at the chemist but no prescription. Had to go back later.

I had planned to take advantage yesterday of Tesco’s shopping hour for pensioners between 9 and 10 o’clock in the morning. Then I thought about all those pictures I’d seen on social media and in the Press of huge queues and empty shelves and wondered if it was all worth it. And why be herded into groups, piling up against on-line shopping trolleys at the check-outs and risk picking up some bug? I thought better of it and went over my local Tesco Express and got the stuff I needed there.

So, what about my book world? I’m making very slow progress on my pulp fiction thriller. Not encouraging really, but at least I’m writing. Book sales are practically non-existent but could pick up later because I have my Book Bub featured deal on Sunday. Fingers crossed for that. I’ve also taken what I think could be a major step in my writing career (funny word that for an ‘old un’ like me); I have enrolled in Mark Dawson’s 101 course. Any budding writer out there who still can’t get their head round the minutiae of publishing, promotion and marketing should have a look at what the course offers. I’ve been an ‘alumni’ of Mark’s for something like five years now and have often wondered about the 101 course. I’ve seen podcasts with established writers who were struggling until they signed up for the course. It’s a bit pricey, particularly when you add the 20% VAT, but there are easy payment options. Incidentally, I’m not an affiliate of Mark’s, so I don’t earn a commission for recommending it. The link, if you want a peek, is https://learn.selfpublishingformula.com/p/101.

My reading this week is actually Mark Dawson’s latest book, The House in the Woods. I paused Scott Mariani’s thriller but will get back to it. Oh, and if any you like gritty drama, country music and damn fine singing and acting, have a look at ‘Wild Rose’ starring Jessica Buckley.

That’s it for now. Next week is chemo week and keeping my fingers crossed for book sales. Haven’t heard from Joffe Books yet, but at least they are digital publishers and can work from home. Hope so, anyway. Wish me luck!

From major to minor

14^th. March 2020

So that’s another week written off for me. Pat became ill on Tuesday and was admitted to the emergency ward at St. Richards. All her markers were rock bottom, and it took three transfusions, several saline drips and antibiotics to get her back to normal. The transfusions have to be irradiated, and consequently have to come down from London. Thankfully I have her home now, but she has to self-isolate for eleven days. This isn’t because she was diagnosed with the Corona virus, but she was tested as a precaution and consequently needs to complete the fourteen-day self-isolation. That means no visitors and no trips out. We had to cancel four appointments booked for next week, and now will be relying on a phone appointment with the haematologist for her pre-chemo check. The chemo is scheduled for next Monday and should go ahead. Poor Pat.

I managed to find a home for Tuppence while Pat was in hospital. I use a group called Barking Mad. Very efficient and reliable. I contacted them Tuesday evening and at 12.30 the following day they had found a home (a “Host” as they call the dog minders) for Tuppence and picked her up. I’ve used Barking Mad a few times before and am very happy with their service. Tuppence is due back on Tuesday. This gives me a chance to get out in the garden and spray some weed killer about.

Naturally my book world has taken a back seat, but I’m hoping to go to a meeting of our Chindi book group in ten days’ time. Just to be in a group of like-minded people, talking about the direction in which we think our Chindi group should go and maybe chatting about our books etc. will be like some kind of therapy for me.

I finished The Lonely Skier by Hammond Innes. He was a remarkable storyteller, although I must admit that the book seemed a little dated. I still enjoyed it. My next literary venture is Scott Mariani’s House of War. I’ll let you know how I got on with that next week. Bearing in mind that all football has been postponed in UK, it means I’ll have more time to sink my nose into a book in the evenings instead of watching the footie on my laptop.

Last Monday was the Self-Publishing Show Live at the South Bank in London, something I would have been attending if it hadn’t been for Pat’s illness. Judging from the Facebook responses, the show was brilliant, and the evening on the Dixie Queen river boat was a real hoot. They plan to have the show again next year and have even contemplated a two-day event. They just about managed to sneak in before the Corona virus ban was implemented. Hopefully, no-one who attended the event will have picked up the bug.

I’ve no idea how my week will go next week. I might be able to put pen to paper and write a few more words for my pulp fiction thriller. Or not. But my main focus is Pat and avoiding the virus. Wish me luck!

One Gee's enough

7^th. March 2020

Our week began in a similar fashion to the previous one: shoot into the hospital on Monday morning for a blood test (for Pat), dash home, bite to eat, walk the dog and then back for the afternoon chemo session. Home by six o’clock, grub, feet up, watch TV. Phew! Poor Pat: this chemo session was more tiring for her, probably because she started her morning tummy jabs on Monday, which usually means her immune system is at its lowest. The jabs are finished now, and she is showing signs of improvement already, thank God.  We now have one eye appointment for Pat this week, then a couple of weeks before we’re back on the treadmill.

Some sad news for me as well this week: my elder sister, Joyce, died after an operation which she knew could be fatal. She was 90, very frail, and not really expected to last much longer. She had a fall at home which led to the op and her subsequent death. In the midst of life etc…

I struggled to get through the crime thriller (?) I was reading. The author, who currently has a series on Amazon and apparently doing well, made what I believe is a basic mistake, and one that irritates me intensely. The two main characters, one a DCI and the other a DS were called Grecko and Grace. The more pages I turned, so my irritation increased I was literally speed reading just to get to the end. I mentioned this to one of my sons during the week. He told me that when he attended a script writing course in London about twenty years ago, they were told never to use the same initial letters for characters because of the confusion it would lead to. This was the same script writing school that Guy Ritchie had attended the year before my son. So, I’m not alone in considering that kind of thing as poor writing. But that’s my opinion and I could be wrong.

No news yet from Joffe Books about Past Imperfect, but I don’t really expect anything until probably the end of the month.

Having ‘finished’ that book I started looking for something else, going through the best sellers etc. on Amazon until I leapt back into my past and downloaded a Hammond Innes novel. Innes has always been my favourite writer and I read most of his books, including this one, The Lonely Skier. I can’t remember anything about it of course because it was so long ago, but already I’m enjoying a master wordsmith. Incidentally, it was his novel, Campbell’s Kingdom that inspired me to write North Slope (https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01L02R626): published by Macmillan in 1978 and saw me being described as a “gifted narrator” in the Financial Times. Thanks to Hammond Innes.

I managed to make more microscopic progress on my current WIP. I will get there eventually, but I have to fit my writing time in when I can. I’m currently writing this blog in the front room after walking the dog, quick shop over the road, and getting the ironing done. And on top of all this, just like everyone, I have to give serious thought to the corona virus and all it portends, particularly as I’m looking after a vulnerable woman, and also because I’m at that age (79 this month), which also puts me in that category. I would have been travelling up to London tomorrow for the Self-Publishing Live show at the South Bank on Monday. I cancelled my ticket last December, so have had plenty of time to get used to the idea of not going. The London Book Fair has been cancelled, and we wondered if the SBS Live would be too. But it’s going ahead, and they are expecting most of the 900 who purchased tickets to attend. A few have pulled out because of the virus implications, which is a shame for them.

That’s it then. Now, where are my pills? Wish me luck.

Questions, questions, questions.

February 29^th. 2020

No, no blowing of trumpets, simply that I was nominated by my Chindi colleague, Helen Christmas, to participate in a summer blog event. It meant spending a little more time on social media than I really wanted, so I’ve taken a shortcut and answered the questions that Helen answered. She did set me new ones, but I’d answered those I saw first and couldn’t be bothered to go through them all again. So, here are the questions that Helen had, followed by my answers. The weekly blog follows the Q&As.

When you were little, what did you dream about becoming when you grew up?

I wanted to be a Trolley Bus conductor so I could slide the poles out from beneath the bus and lift them to change the pick-up arms on to another set of overhead wires. See? No ambition!

What is something you like to do the old-fashioned way?

Write with a fountain pen.

What is one of your favourite smells?

Fresh cut grass.

If you could call anyone in the world and have a one-hour conversation, who would you call?

There is no-one outside of my family that fits that criteria, but if it was for someone long dead I would have to choose two people (I know — it said one). Jesus would be my first, which shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows I am a Born-again Christian. The other is my mother who died a few years before I had my first book published. She was an ardent reader and was never to know how proud I would have made her.

What job would you be terrible at?

Anything a woman does around the house.

If you had a million pounds/dollars, what would you do with them to help the most people?

Because it’s not enough to buy an ailing football club, I would try to do my best for local charities, and also my church here in Aldwick.

For one day, you can do whatever you want. What would you do?

Emulate my son, Terry, and fly a fast jet.

Give me three words to describe yourself.

Optimist. Talkative. Supportive.

What is your favourite food treat?

Mince, mash, vegetables and gravy. (I know it’s boring, but I’m a simple man with simple needs.)

What is your favourite outfit?

I like to dress in spivvy clothes but have long given that up. I used to like wearing a dark shirt, leather jacket and slim trousers.

 You have one last wish… go for it!

A complete cure for cancer.

My apologies to Helen for not following the rules. You can find Helen’s excellent blog at https://samefacedifferentplace.wordpress.com/2020/02/26/.

So, how as the week gone for me and Pat? She had chemo last Monday, which doesn’t seem to have affected her too much. We understand there is usually a downside, but we’re not complaining. We were called in by the hospital to have a blood test because Pat’s had been done more than 48 hours before. That meant a quick dash into St. Richards, home again, walk the dog, grab a bite and get back for her one o’clock appointment. They have changed the chemo schedule too: it means we’re in again next Monday, and then not for three weeks. We have also been given all Pat’s appointments up to the end of April.

I submitted my book, The Boy from Berlin, (www.amazon.co.uk/B079SSJP9V) to BookBub for a featured deal at the beginning of the week. They accepted it but not for the USA. I was given the opportunity to promote it in Canada, Australia, India and the UK. They didn’t give a reason for the ban on USA, but I suspect it’s because the story is about the race for the Whitehouse, and the main protagonist is a right wing, white racist supremacist, and also the chief suspect for the murder of a State senator. The police office leading the investigation is Lieutenant Amos, a black cop! I guess BookBub considered it a bit delicate and maybe have an influence on the presidential election coming up this year? (He says with tongue firmly in cheek). So, Donald Trump can sleep safely in his bed and dream of another four-year term.

I finished reading The Auction Murders by Roger Silverwood; his third in the DCI Angel series. I think I have a problem with police procedurals because there seems to be the need for the main character to have a problem, whether domestic, emotional, or physical, and this requires a lot of wandering off plot to fill the reader with narrative that, for me, doesn’t drive the plot forward. It isn’t just this book too; I’m finding the same with the one I’ve just started, but more about that when I finish it (if I do).

I’ve heard nothing from Joffe Books about the progress with Past Imperfect.  I don’t really expect to for a while; it’s just me getting itchy feet and wanting to see it finished and ready to go.

I received an email from one of my new subscribers who had signed up for a free copy of Hell’s Gate. The message was clear: “Stop sending me emails.” I guessed she meant to unsubscribe, which I did for her, and sent her a reply to say I’d done this. I received an email the following day from her asking me if my book was available in paperback! Hmmm! I wonder if she’s bought one. I live in hope. Wish me luck.

Every cloud has a silver lining

22 February 2020

Well, the excitement level went up in the Parker household this week, but it was all about my book world. More of that later. Last Monday Pat saw the specialist who said that her blood test showed that things were normal. This meant she could continue chemo, which would be next Monday. We were a little disappointed to think she had to wait a week, but the prescription for the chemo is made up at Worthing hospital, and takes about three days. She’s been a bit flat this week, but I can’t expect her to be jumping through hoops every day; living with cancer can be soul destroying.

Now, the excitement level. Readers of my blog will know I’ve just had the jacket of my romance, Past Imperfect, redesigned. I then began a tentative promotion campaign on Amazon, but so far that has only produced two sales. I was on the point of signing up for a different type of promotion with the company who did the jacket when I received an email, out of the blue, from Joffe Books (rhymes with coffee) wanting to ‘relaunch’ Past Imperfect. I can promise you that it had nothing to do with the redesigning of the jacket. Joffe Books bought all Robert Hale rights about a year ago from Crowood Press. I had two titles left over from Hale that belonged to Crowood but managed to get the rights back over a year ago; this meant I had no connection with any traditional publisher. Somehow, Joffe Books picked up on Past Imperfect and that’s why they got in touch with me.

So who are Joffe Books? They publish indie writers; mainly crime but do have an interest in other genres. They are one of the most successful indie publishers on Amazon, having sold 1.4 million books in 2017 and in 2018 held seventeen of the top 100 titles there. When they take on a writer, they do the lot: editing, proof reading, formatting, jacket design, and promotion. It costs the writer nothing. There’s no advance, and royalties are paid quarterly.

I first came across Jasper Joffe on a Mark Dawson podcast a couple of years ago, so I have a good understanding of how he works. I did submit a manuscript to him but heard nothing back. He usually takes on about one in a hundred submissions, so to be ‘picked up’ in this way is something of a game changer for me. I now have to wait for things to happen. They have everything they need from me, so hopefully I won’t have to wait too long before I see things moving.

The email from them took me back to the seventies when I received a letter from my agent to say that Macmillan had made an offer to publish my first book. I remember standing outside the chicken sheds where I’d been doing some electrical work for the chicken farmer, when Pat turned up in the car, our four boys with her, clutching the letter. We ended up dancing round the yard, me in my overalls and wellie boots, Pat clinging on for dear life and the chicken farmer wondering what the hell was going on. No, I didn’t do any of that when Joffe Books got in touch, but metaphorically I came pretty close. What now? I’ve just got to settle down, keep calm and hope I can look forward to a renewed career. Wish me luck!

Putting in the hard yards

15^th. February 2020

It’s been quite a week, one way or another. Pat managed to get through the middle section of her chemo where she has tummy jabs over five days. It’s always a nervy time because of past experiences, both with Pat’s chemo last year and mine in Spain. But we’re through that and looking ahead now to her consultation prior to the next session of chemo on Monday. Hopefully we’ll hear positive news and she will be allowed to continue with the treatment.

On the book front, I’ve just finished collaborating with ‘ebookorprint.com’ for the new jacket to my romance Past Imperfect. It took an exchange of 33 emails, start to finish, before the final version was agreed. You can make your own minds up about it, but I really like it. I have the new copy to hand and have ordered a few more. I’m expecting to use this company again for another jacket change later in the year. I am also contemplating a promotion campaign with them but have to dot some eyes and cross some tees before signing up. It isn’t about Amazon or Facebook ads, but something entirely different. If I go ahead, you’ll get to know all about it, whether I fail or not.

I’ve been organising a family get-together for when our youngest son Stephen and his wife come over from Australia. It will be their first visit for fifteen years. I’ve booked a local hotel for a lunchtime bash in April. There should be 21 of us all told. There will be four Vegans, five vegetarians and the rest of us meat eaters. Ever tried organising something where there are different dietary requirements? It’s a nightmare.

My current reading is a crime thriller by J.D. Kirk called The Killing Code. I saw this author on an SPF podcast. He was a ghost writer for Random House, writing comics, Sci-Fi etc. Been doing it for years and making a living out of it. Now he’s writing for himself and making a better living out of it.

Last Wednesday I watched a webinar by Stuart Grant. It was about Instagram. I managed an hour before going to bed, but will be catching up later on the video that’s has been made available to the SPF Patreon group. From all accounts, using Instagram properly is the way to success. Aren’t they all though? I will try to follow Stuart’s excellent advice though; he seems to make it work.

I have managed to get some work done on my pulp fiction thriller. The word count is up to 12000 plus. It’s still a struggle though. And of course, almost all my screen time is now on the laptop in the front room so I can be with Pat. At the moment she’s watching a film on Amazon. It’s called The Fisherman’s Friend. I watched it a couple of weeks ago. Lovely film based on a true story.

So that’s where I am now: making plans and trying to sell books, but there’s precious little of that happening. Maybe my tie up with ‘ebookorprint’ might yield something. Wish me luck!

I'm back again. Didn't think it would happen.

February 8^th. 2020

Well, I didn’t think I would be back this soon, but I’ve done a kind of ‘workaround’ to satisfy my own concerns with leaving Pat on her own. Followers of my blog will know Pat has been battling with cancer for almost fifteen months now, and to maintain my blog and my writing, it meant spending time in my room while Pat was on her own in the front room. It bothered me and seemed so unfair to her, which is why I called a halt. But now I am able to use my laptop, having transferred what I need, and I can be in the room with Pat while I write the blog. Hopefully I’ll be able to pick up my writing again. The desire never left me, but the inclination did. So, where are we with health and creativity issues?

Pat has begun chemo again and has now had her second dose. It’s different to the chemo that nearly killed her last year; this is a fortnightly session which will go on for four months. It seems to be more forgiving, but it is chemo, nonetheless. She did well with the first session, safely navigating the two weeks without any major dramas. I still have to give her tummy jabs in the middle section of the two weeks: this is to help her immune system, and it’s at this point in the chemo where she is at her most vulnerable to infection etc.

On the book front, I have written virtually nothing; just dribs and drabs. I tested out my ‘new’ way of writing — sitting in the front room with Pat, but it took some getting used to, and there were always distractions, but I need this kind of diversion to help cope with looking after Pat. As most writers understand; writing is a lonely occupation and needs to be done somewhere ‘safe’. A garret in an old town, maybe. But seriously, we all occupy that metaphorical garret when and wherever we sit down to write.

I’ve spent some money on advertising; not a lot, simply because I still have to understand the finer points of Amazon ads and how to drill down into the minutiae and sell books. I made one dreadful mistake a month ago. I started a campaign for one of my books and instead of bidding $0.30 (30 cents), I bid $30! I forgot to check where the decimal point was. Consequently, I received an email from Amazon to say my budget had been exceeded — I’d spent $150 in less than 24 hours! I won’t make that mistake again (hopefully).

I am in the process of having a new jacket designed for my romance Past Imperfect. Once I have it, I’ll promote it on AMS. The reason for the jacket change is simple: the old one just didn’t work. I sold three copies in twelve months because it has no appeal.

That’s about it for now. Oh, I stopped writing this an hour ago and took Pat out for a walk in her wheelchair. The sun was shining, no wind, and a lovely time to get her out. She loved it. Hopefully I’ll post a blog each week, but in my current situation, nothing is written in stone. Just keep an eye open and wish me luck!